The myth of porn
J has kindly let me join the team here at the Cafe Nette to share occasional columns on Christianity.
Feminist author Naomi Wolfe writes in New York Magazine about The Porn Myth. After meeting Andrea Dworkin, the famed 1980s anti-porn activist, she contemplated on how Dworkin predicted that pornography would create a “domino effect” in men’s relations with women. Men would objectify women and treat them as objects, things.
Wolfe realizes—as do I—that Dworkin was right in warning about the prevalence of porn, but wrong about the outcome:
The whole world, post-Internet, did become pornographized. Young men and women are indeed being taught what sex is, how it looks, what its etiquette and expectations are, by pornographic training—and this is having a huge effect on how they interact.
But the effect is not making men into raving beasts. On the contrary: The onslaught of porn is responsible for deadening male libido in relation to real women, and leading men to see fewer and fewer women as “porn-worthy.” Far from having to fend off porn-crazed young men, young women are worrying that as mere flesh and blood, they can scarcely get, let alone hold, their attention.
There is so much truth in those paragraphs I barely know where to start. As a man who went down the dark path of porn, I know exactly what she’s talking about. I’ve lived it. Your wife fails to “measure up” to the sexpot on the computer screen who will do anything and be anything for you. Don’t like the image you see? Call up another one. Or go to the next web site. This woman’s not turning you on? Next! And on and on and on…
And soon, your real, flesh-and-blood wife just can’t compete with the hundreds, the thousands of women and girls who are just a mouse-click away on the Internet. Your wife, who has headaches, the monthly “friend,” troubles with weight, sometimes just wants to be held and has to be turned on, just doesn’t measure up to the instant gratification found trough pornography.
Men who turn to porn turn away from their wives and family. They make time for their “special time,” stay up at all hours, searching for the ultimate rush. Work suffers, relationships suffer, marriage suffers. You want your wife to do things that the sexpots on the Internet do, but all she wants to do is be with you.
Many times, the porn can lead to Internet chat rooms, then liaisons, affairs and then divorce. Thank God that didn’t happen to me, but I know men for which it did.
Two thousand years ago, the Word made flesh, Jesus Christ, told men that if you lust after another woman in your heart, you have committed adultery. (Notice that adultery, when God is speaking, is all sex outside of marriage between a man and a woman.) Every time you—I—look at porn on the Internet or cable TV or magazines, and wonder what it would be like to sex her up, well, according to Jesus Christ, master of the universe, you’ve just committed adultery.
How many thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of times have men done so while looking at that filth just on the Internet? Many men can’t count high enough.
The stuff is pure poison. It deadens relations between you and your wife, or you and your girlfriend. It kills your drive for the real thing, and wrecks lives. It can wreck your job, your career, and even your sons’ lives.
The next time someone tells you that porn is just “freedom of expression” and doesn’t hurt anyone, I hope you’ll remember this.
What will you do when you discover your son’s stash of Playboys? With me, I know I won’t be saying, “That’s OK, son, I did the same thing when I was your age.”
Written by Truman
~J~ Says:
June 17th, 2007 at 10:56 amVisit ~J~
Excellent post and excellent advice, Truman!
I see so much porn in the spam filter on this site, that if you knew about it, it would sicken your stomach just by what they say.
I also get it in my email box, but it’s filtered too so all I see is the header while I am selecting all to delete.
I’d be embarrassed to be one of the girls in those photos, and I would absolutely die if I saw my daughter or granddaughter involved in anything like this.
Thank you for this excellent first post and I look forward to more.