How would you feel if you went to bed one night speaking American English with the American accent, and awakened to hear yourself speaking with a foreign accent and you can’t control it?

Watch this story:

Just don’t bump your head in the wrong place or you’ll be speaking in an accent even you don’t recognize.

Imagine spending your time (all your time) no more than 15 feet apart from your significant other:

Did you hear about that Buddhist couple who’re never more than 15 feet apart? Well, we tried it.

HT: Instapundit

Simon says:

A real shame exports are growing at a rate of about 2.8% a year. It is a shame manufacturing is booming. It is a shame Germans are moving factories to America.

It is a shame the Iraqis are getting a handle on Iraq. It is a shame they are holding national elections in October. It is a shame their economy is growing 5% a year.

It is a shame oil prices are up giving a boost to the sale of hybrids and high mileage vehicles.

It is a shame unemployment in the “worst economy since the depression” is only around 5%. It is a shame it only grew .9%. It is a shame that higher growth is expected in the coming quarters. Did I mention that Germans are building factories in America?

Considering the doofus we have as President it is a shame things are going as well as they are.

The Anchoress is on to something, at least in my opinion:

And the only way to hurt a congress is to vote them all out.

Whoever the incumbent is, vote for the other guy. A new congress full of greenhorns cannot be worse than the clowns in charge, now, and maybe the thick-heads facing re-election next time will finally understand. Maybe.

There is a classic picture at the end of the piece well worth checking out.

Will there be a Senator or Presidential candidate who will accept Michael Yon’s offer?

I hereby offer to accompany any Senator to Iraq, whether they are pro-or anti-war, Democrat or Republican. I will make this offer personally to a few select Senators as well. Our conversations during the visit would be on- or off-record, as they wish. Touring Iraq with me, as well as briefings by U.S. officers and meetings with Iraqis, would provide an accurate and nuanced account of the progress and challenges ahead, so that the Senators might have a highly informed perspective on this most critical issue. Our civilian leaders need to make decisions based on the best information available. The only way to learn what is really going on in Iraq is to go there and listen to our ground commanders, who know what they are doing. Generals Petraeus and Odierno have years of experience in Iraq, and vast knowledge of our efforts there. But the young soldiers who have done multiple tours in Iraq also have unique and invaluable perspectives as well. These young soldiers have personally witnessed the trajectory of the war shift dramatically, and can articulate those changes in concrete and specific terms. It doesn’t matter if a soldier is only twenty-something. If he or she spent two or three years in the war, that person is likely to have valuable insights. The best way to understand what is really going on is to listen closely to a wide range of service members who have done multiple tours in Iraq. Some will be negative, some will be positive, but overall I am certain that the vast majority of multi-tour Iraq veterans will testify that there has been great progress, and now there is hope. Combat veterans don’t tolerate happy talk or wishful thinking. They’ll tell you the raw truth as they see it.

Whether any Senators take advantage of my offer, I do hope that the presidential candidates visit Iraq, not just for a photo opportunity, but to spend time with our commanders and combat veterans, who know the truth and are not afraid to speak it.

This evening will bring the primary season to an end. If you wish to follow the results as they roll in CNN Election Center will begin posting them as the respective polls close.

An Italian man on vacation in Australia decided, for some reason, to drink anti-freeze or at least something with the same lethal ingredients.

He was taken to the hospital, unconscious, and doctors started him on an IV drip of pharmaceutical grade alcohol, the anti-dote for this type of poison.

The problem is the alcohol soon ran out and the doctors had to be creative in treating the patient.

They sent out for a case of vodka and gave the man the equivalent of three standard drinks an hour IV for three days in the ICU.

Word is the patient survived, but he probably still has a big hangover. I wonder if he joined AA? That’s a lot of vodka over three days.

A group of very liberal New Englanders and a group of very conservative Southerners are getting together to discuss secession from the Union.

In an unlikely marriage of desire to secede from the United States, two advocacy groups from opposite political traditions — New England and the South — are sitting down to talk.

Tired of foreign wars and what they consider right-wing courts, the Middlebury Institute wants liberal states like Vermont to be able to secede peacefully.

That sounds just fine to the League of the South, a conservative group that refuses to give up on Southern independence.

“We believe that an independent South, or Hawaii, Alaska, or Vermont would be better able to serve the interest of everybody, regardless of race or ethnicity,” said Michael Hill of Killen, Ala., president of the League of the South.

One of the liberal New Englanders claims there are secession movements in 25 states.

Surprisingly, the article informs us secession is not barred in the Constitution.

OK, that’s probably so, but didn’t a lot of men die to preserve the Union?

I guess these guys feel safe because they know no one in Washington or regular citizens would sign up to preserve the Union as they did 140+ years ago.

And when are these Southern people going to stop fighting the Civil War? Apologies to Southerners, as I mean only this group of Southerners and I live in the South.

Of course, I’m from New England, and it’s just as bad there. Mostly in Vermont, the state that likes to elect Socialist Bernie Sanders to national office.

Vermont and Rhode Island are the only two New England states I haven’t visited, and my husband claims he took me to Rhode Island a few years ago while we were in Connecticut. It was so small and such a short distance I guess I just didn’t realize it.

Anyway, I’ve had dealings with businesses in Vermont and have told them I hear it’s a beautiful state but I wouldn’t visit it until they got rid of Leahy and Sanders. That was before Sanders was a senator. And don’t forget how whacky Jim Jeffords was either.

Lots of luck enforcing the ruling if it goes in Chambers’ favor.

A Wellington, New Zealand, thief burglarized the home of Graeme and Shirley Glass.

The burglar smashed the window to gain entrance and then stole a lap top computer, American Express credit card and a camera.

When the Glass’ returned home they found all the items piled on their table, along with a neatly written note apologizing for “violating the safety and security of your home”

The burglar also placed a pair of gloves and a basketball purchased with the credit card.

The robber also promised to leave cash in Glass’ mailbox to pay for the smashed window when he had enough money.

“I have never written truer words when I say that I wish that I had never done this to you and your family,” the note read. “From the bottom of my heart I am sorry.”

Story.

First of all I don’t understand why a school would have 15 valedictorians in the same class, but I digress.

Erica Corder was one of 15 valedictorians at Lewis-Palmer High School in Colorado in 2006. They each got 30 seconds to speak and when it came her turn her speech was to encourage the audience to get to know Jesus.

Oh, my! The entire faculty must have swooned at the same time! Her principal, Mark Brewer, told her if she didn’t apologize she wouldn’t receive her diploma, though she’d still be able to graduate.

On Monday Erica Corder sued the school district.

The lawsuit said Brewer would not give Corder her diploma until she included a sentence saying, “I realize that, had I asked ahead of time, I would not have been allowed to say what I did.” Corder received her diploma after complying.

The school district released a statement Wednesday saying officials reviewed Corder’s case when it happened in 2006 and also met several times with Corder and her parents.

“While we are disappointed that this matter has resulted in litigation, we are confident that all actions taken by school officials were constitutionally appropriate,” the statement said. “As a result, we intend to vigorously defend the claims. Beyond that, it is the district’s policy not to comment on pending litigation.”

Brewer, who now works for Douglas County schools, declined to comment Wednesday.

Corder is represented by attorneys affiliated with Liberty Counsel, an Orlando, Fla.-based group that says it is dedicated to advancing religious freedom.

Wanna bet if she had mentioned Muhammad and his “peaceful” religion she would have not been penalized?

A woman with the last name of Butts has been busted for stealing 3 rolls of toilet paper from the rest room at the courthouse. She could be sentenced to 3 years in jail.

Can you imagine if she goes to prison:

Butts: What are you in for?

Cellmate: Manslaughter while DUI. Two years. How ’bout you?

Butts: Stealing toilet paper. Three years.

Video here.

A New Hampshire woman was in Vermont, was drunk and approached a Vermont State Police officer who was busy with three other officers investigating a fight.

She approached the officer to tell him she had been beaten up the night before by one of the men involved in the fight.

How we get from point A above to point B isn’t told, but somehow the drunk woman was observed by the State Police officer “staring” at his police dog. He arrested her and charged her with animal cruelty.

A Vermont State Police sergeant said Hutchinson was intoxicated and stared at his police dog in a “taunting/harassing manner” last July while officers were in the process of investigating a reported melee outside a West Fairlee establishment.

The case was dropped.

That’s ridiculous, but then I have a prejudice against the people in Vermont except for Karen, who sometimes visits us, because I think they are just weirdos.

I can match this story from personal experience. In my working life I was an officer of a local union.

One day one of my stewards, who was the receptionist and sat at the main entrance of our office, called me and told me she wanted to file a grievance against a second-level manager. Second-level is one step up from entry level management, but he is over first-level management and this guy thought he was the king.

Figuring he had done something really bad because that was the kind of guy he was, I asked her what happened to make her want to file a grievance against him.

Are you ready for this? She wanted to file a grievance against him because he was walking on the hall across from her (two halls separated by the elevator lobby, but visible to each other) and he looked at her funny!

Since she has a quick temper, it was all I could do to calm her down and explain why this was foolish without bursting out laughing at the absurdity of it all.

She’s still a good friend of mine and we laugh about it all the time, but it’s just as foolish as arresting someone for staring at a dog.

…but I don’t know his name.

I check the obituaries and main stories in my hometown newspaper every day and all I could find on this man’s obituary is this quote:

grandchildren and most of all, being a great husband, father and grandfather to his family. He could be found at Waltz Pharmacy every morning, having his coffee and giving his conservative Republican views on about everything. Coffee time will never be

Whoever he was, may he rest in peace.

This excuse is a new one on me.

A Charleston Southern University economics professor is in hot water with the Securities and Exchange Commission after nearly $134 million in investments disappeared.

Al Parish, the self-proclaimed “Economan” of Charleston, S.C., claims amnesia in the case of the missing money and has checked himself into a hospital, Inside Higher Ed reports.

The SEC alleges that Parish had sold interest in five investment funds since 1986 and provided false reporting of the funds’ financial results. Four of the funds were “informal pools of money” while the fifth focused on “hard assets” such as jewelry and art, Inside Higher Ed reports.

Among Parish’s investors is his former employer, Charleston Southern University, which invested some $10 million of its estimated $13 million to $18 million endowment with the professor, renown in the local media for his quick sound bites on investing.

Maybe his memory will come back and he can find all those lost investments.